Immanual Kant was a real piss-ant
who was very rarely stable
Heideggar, Heideggar was a boozy beggar
who could think you under the table
David Hume could out-consume
Schopenhauer and Hegel
And Wittgenstein was a beery swine
who was just as schloshed as Schlegel.
There's nothing Nietzsche couldn't teach ya'
'bout the raising of the wrist
Socrates himself was permanently pissed.
John Stewart Mill, of his own free will
on half a pint of shanty was particularly ill
Plato, they say, could stick it away
half a crate of whiskey every day
Aristotle, Aristotle was a bugger for the bottle
Hobbes was fond of his dram
And Rene Descartes was a drunken fart:
"I drink, therefore I am."
Yes, Socrates, himself, is particularly missed.
A lovely little thinker, but a bugger when he's pissed.